WHO AM I?

All of us ask ourselves this simple question…who am I? Some of us are lucky to find the answer to it soon enough while others hope to find that one day.

There is this constant conflict within us to know our existence and for others to recognize it. We are always hoping for other people to give us the worth that we wish we could have or deserve to have. Nonetheless that is the main point of conflict-the feeling of deserving. Do I deserve to have this? Do I deserve to be successful? Do I deserve to be happy? This list is endless as each of us have our individual perspectives on this matter. We all have endless questions but very few answers to it and as life passes by we think we have found those answers until we get a slap across our face to remind us that we are still far away from them. Who knows the answers? At times we believe that very successful people know those answers and have everything sorted out, which is why they are at the top and we are still pondering on how to reach there. But guess what? I bet you that they themselves have many but not all their questions answered. But before we can even ponder on all those questions we fight within ourselves on a daily basis, we should know at least who we are.

Let me start off with myself… I am Natasha Lalwani, a fashion designer, stylist and blogger. Born and brought up in Spain I have struggled to find my place in a new place called India. This country is very rich in its culture and has endless opportunities for millions of people, yet I have struggled to find my place. But guess what? Even though it has taken me 10 years, I have finally found my little place of happiness. Today I am my own boss when it comes to my work and personal life. I have understood many bitter truths while dwelling over these questions. My Spanish friends still wonder what I am doing in such a different country compared to Spain, but life is full of experiences and believe it or not destiny has its way of manipulating you at times. Life throws all sorts of stuff at you and you have to be ok with it as you want to be happy.

But what is happiness? I guess everyone’s definition of happiness differs according to their upbringing, life experiences and surroundings. Some people like me feel happy drinking a hot cup of cappuccino while others get a kick of happiness by buying a car. So happiness differs, it isn’t right for some and wrong for the others, it simply just differs. I just believe that happiness and the sense of deserving go hand-in-hand, and some might even relate this thought to the famous movie The Secret. But I can relate to it by looking at my own life, because for most of my life I strongly believed that I do not deserve to be happy. We have that fear that if happiness comes our way it will suddenly just disappear and we will be devastated. But then overcoming this fear of unworthiness and rejection is the most important step when finding your self-worth. And guess what? Even though I have been born and brought up in Spain I still have Indian origins, so this feeling of unworthiness can get worse as age catches on for a single Indian girl.

My goal is not to hate men or be a strong feminist, but rather to help other girls like me find their self-worth. It isn’t difficult to bring a smile on a person’s face and one shouldn’t wait for others to make them smile. But at times we do require to be shaken and woken up to realize that life is very short and we need to be happy come what may. I am a single 33 year old Indian girl, totally focused on my career. Yes it is a choice that I made in life rather than be married to the wrong partner and live a miserable life. Eventually we do wake up from our dreams and realize that prince charming does not exist in reality. Now how we accept that reality with a smile on our faces is one of the biggest challenges, but it isn’t impossible. You just need to be very patient, calm and believe in your worth. So I welcome all of you to be part of my journey as a single woman and bring out the true happiness within you. YES it is there, you just need to look a bit deeper and have faith in yourself and God. Each of my blogs will focus on different topics relating to women, stating some problems and how to find solutions to those problems. Trust me I am not here to preach or judge others as I myself am a learner so let us start a new journey of happiness and contentment in life!

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